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Jul 23, 2005
I look out and
I see the rain
As it falls on
my window pane
And the music
that's in my heart
Is a
sad refrain
Endless traffic of
sounds and sights
Midst the glitter
of neon lights
Still the music
that's in my heart
Is the same
sad refrain
`J.M.Chan
Posted at 06:30 am by francismilky
Permalink
Jul 14, 2005
"There is a mine for silver and a place where gold is refined.
Iron is taken from the earth, and copper is smelted from ore.
Man puts an end to the darkness; he searches the farthest recesses for ore in the blackest darkness.
Far from where people dwell he cuts a shaft, in places forgotten by the foot of man; far from men he dangles and sways.
The earth, from which food comes, is transformed below as by fire;
sapphires come from its rocks, and its dust contains nuggets of gold.
No bird of prey knows that hidden path, no falcon's eye has seen it.
Proud beasts do not set foot on it, and no lion prowls there.
Man's hand assaults the flinty rock and lays bare the roots of the mountains.
He tunnels through the rock; his eyes see all its treasures.
He searches the sources of the rivers and brings hidden things to light.
"But where can wisdom be found?
Where does understanding dwell?
Man does not comprehend its worth; it cannot be found in the land of the living.
The deep says, 'It is not in me'; the sea says, 'It is not with me.'
It cannot be bought with the finest gold, nor can its price be weighed in silver.
It cannot be bought with the gold of Ophir, with precious onyx or sapphires.
Neither gold nor crystal can compare with it, nor can it be had for jewels of gold.
Coral and jasper are not worthy of mention; the price of wisdom is beyond rubies.
The topaz of Cush cannot compare with it; it cannot be bought with pure gold.
"Where then does wisdom come from? Where does understanding dwell?
It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing, concealed even from the birds of the air.
Destruction and Death say, 'Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.'
God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells,
for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens.
When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters,
when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm,
then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it.
And he said to man,
'The fear of the Lord--that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.'"
Posted at 02:10 am by francismilky
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Jul 10, 2005
I am not a rose
-Happy under the sun
Or serene under the moonlight…-
I am not serene
I am not happy
My songs are elegy
And I tremble with fear
As big drops of rain and strong winds
Try to wipe me out from this earth.
Stop telling me your stories
If you can’t listen to the songs
I mutely sing.
Don’t insist to make your life part of mine
If you refuse to be pricked by my thorns…
I want to cut your flesh,
I want your blood on my petals.
I want to know if you could still love me
Even if I would hurt you…
I want to know if you can understand
That I am not simple,
That I am not gentle
That I am not easy
And I am too shy to ask what
My heart really aches for…
And my life is not forever.
Soon, I’ll wither
And like a rose, one by one
My petals will fall.
And the wind will scatter them
To different places, to different directions…
Posted at 04:25 am by francismilky
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Jun 21, 2005
Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of Social Work materials. Ahem! Of course, this is due to the nearing Social Work Board Exam. And I really need to do a lot of reading, as in grabeh! Uy pag ako bumagsak, bati niyo pa rin ako ha… Friends pa din tayo, wag nyo naman ako ikahiya, please?
Anyway, to be fair with what I’ve managed to read amongst what I am supposed to read, they really are worth reading pwera lang sa mga imememorize… And I’m gonna share one of these. This one talks about Freedom and Obligation. Thelma Lee-Mendoza quoted Ralph Ross when she discussed Ethics of the Social Work profession at para konsensiyahin kami sa aming mga obligasyon bilang social worker. Here it goes:
“…Obligation and freedom are polar opposites: freedom is an absence of constraint, and obligation is constraining. What is obligatory is somehow binding, but is not binding as force is binding, nor is it binding even as law is, when law is backed by force and its violation brings punishment….
Obligation can indeed be violated, and its violation may bring no punishment at all, not even a sleepless night. So, although obligation may be opposed to freedom, as all bonds are, it is not starkly opposed as law or force. “You ought not” is not so strong a statement as “You may not,” and “You ought” is different from “You shall.”
To act under obligation is to act freely. Response to obligation is the measure of a man,* and requires self-restraint and self-discipline, in some cases anguish… the conditions of obligation are not just the absence of external discipline, but also the absence of internal necessity.
…All social life seems to me based on genuine morality, whose is obligation, and whose condition for existence is choice, and so FREEDOM TO CHOOSE.”
Nice and true, won’t you agree? And at this very moment I am contemplating, “To whom do I have any obligation to pass this board examination?” And you know what, I cannot help but say, “Hindi lang sa sarili ko, sa mga maggulang ko, sa pamilya ko, ngunit sa bansang Pilipinas, lalung-lalo na sa mga mahihirap. Sayang naman ang aking mga natutunan kung hanggang diploma lang pala ang aking habol… Sayang naman ang aking buhay kung hindi ko maialay sa kanilang mga nangagailangan…” Wahaha! You may say, “’Sup? What’s gotten into her?” You have all the freedom to say what you wanna say but i still feel obligated to pass for reasons stated above ...Pero really, wag nyo na ako awayin pag ako di pumasa kasi ako mismo malulungkot… Lalo pa’t serious nako dito… Okei dokei, tama na break, back to aral na, after ng exam, madami pa ako kwento and cheesiness.Û
*Pasensya na hindi gender-sensitive, quinote ko lang po yan.Û
Posted at 12:16 am by francismilky
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Jun 20, 2005
My father is not perfect. In fact, he’s far from being one. But I love him very much and I would always say, "he’s a great pop!" I’m saying this not because it’s fathers’ day. I’m saying this because this is the truth. I love my father. Very much.
The relationship between him and me has not always been good. We had and I know we would still have our differences. But this would not keep me from saying he’s great.
I saw my father grew up to be a better person. I am aware of his shortcomings both as a person and as a father. I even saw him suffer the consequences of his youthful follies that sure did backfire on him when he was already a married man and a struggling "man of God". But I saw him struggle to rise above those limitations and be the person the Lord created him to become.
Even as a kid, I already saw his passion for his ministry. I also saw the joy it brought him despite being constantly placed in a situation where he was torn between the demands of the congregations he served and us, his family. But it took me long to understand this passion and joy. Why, I was mad at him and Nanay for choosing that kind of life and dragging us (their children) along to live in those dingy parsonages of the little churches they served in far flung areas down south! What more, I had to play the role of the prim and proper, angelic daughter of the reverend!
It was only in college when I finally come to understand that passion and joy. When I got to finally understand on a very personal level these lines of a song,
"That’s how it is with God’s love
Once you’ve experience it
You spread his love to everyone
You want to pass it on…"
This understanding did not erase all the bad pictures I had of him but it made me see the beauty of his humanity and his struggle to follow the Lord in spite and despite of everything for the single reason: He loves God. It sure is not an easy thing to do; now I know… And looking back, I know it was not easy for him. And all these things make me see that he is a great father. Truly, a great one. He may have failed to provide us material riches for he sure was a poor dad but he lavished us (and continues to do so) with love and care. And most importantly, he taught us one great lesson: "LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR CHRIST."
As I look at him now, old and tired, but wizened by life but still poor, I could not help it but tears would really well up on my eyes… And I would want to tell the world, "That old man, he is not perfect but he loves the Lord and you know what, He is my father and I am proud of that." I LOVE YOU TATAY. I really do. Happy Fathers’ Day!Û
Posted at 01:24 am by francismilky
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Jun 15, 2005
LEAVING YESTERDAY BEHIND
Since you left me, I never really tried
To put my life to where it should belong
And I've always let the past gone by
I'm realizing that it could be wrong
But now I fin'lly knew
I had to let it go
To make way for a brighter tomorrow
So now I'm leavin' yesterday behind
And fin'lly I've made up my mind
So let the mem'ries stay away
And think about today
I'm leavin' yesterday behind
'Cause now I'll try to live my life once more
The way I did before
Since I know that I never will forget
The memories that made my yesterday
I will try not to let it interfere
The choices I will make along the way
'Cause I'm not livin' in a world of fantasy
I'm here now in the world of reality
Posted at 01:32 am by francismilky
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"I want to be strong,
to be strong as the land around me,
I want a heart
that's as wide as the sky
I want a spirit
like a moving mountain stream,
I want to look people straight in the eye
Walking along beneath a canopy of clouds,
Feeling like a stranger in the midst of a crowd,
I know that something great is calling me out loud,
I know that I must choose
The world is crying cause there's hunger and there's hate
But if we care it's not too late.
A loving, laughing world we'll be able to create
Underneath the endless sky"
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